Elley Wolf was born January 10, 2016. Soon after her birth her parents, Tim and Nichol, and family were visiting my parents, Vernon and Arlene. They are Elley’s Great Grand Parents. Her Great Aunt Diane was also there. In a conversation Diane mentioned with Elley’s birth our family totals 90 people. So Elley was the 90th person in our family. Elley’s older brother Luke became curious and ask Diane “What’s my number”. Diane said “I don’t know, but I will get back to you.
Diane listed every member of the family as they came into the family by either birth or marriage. Entering the family by birth is pretty simple as far as becoming a family member. One is born to a family member and becomes a family member on their date of birth. Marriage is similar, but things can happen that can make it a little different than being born into the family. First, there may be children who come with the marriage. In this case the children, or stepchildren, become family members on the date of the wedding. Then, sometimes divorce happens. If a born family member and spouse family member divorce the spouse family member is of course always a family member as considered for genealogy. As well, children who become family members through a marriage are also always family members. It is sort of like the ending lyrics of the song Hotel California, “you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.” You can listen to the song at this link. https://youtu.be/FVsbvFkhzY4
So with these things considered Diane got back to Luke with the news that his number is 62. She had done the work of issuing a number to each member of the family at the time. Dad is #1, Mom is #2, I am #3 and on it goes. The work Diane did established family numbers, but there was no intention to recognize numbers for any purpose.
The next January, 2017, Faye and I were driving somewhere when Faye noted the outside temperature which was displayed on the dash of the car. It was very cold, 8 degrees. I immediately thought of my brother Dan being #8. I said, “The temperature of 8 degrees reminds me to think of my brother Dan”. Later that day I wrote a text to Dan saying the temperature of 8 degrees reminded me to think of him and I wrote what I think of him. I continued to text people through the year as the temperature reminded me day by day. The next year I chose to recognize each family member by their number through a birthday wish on that special day. I have continued to do that the past few years.
Eventually some family members played along and know their number. They understand it is meant to recognize their special place in the family. Others sort of endure it and go on their way. Either is OK. It is not uncommon for me to address someone by their number at a family gathering and have someone else say “What’s my number?” It that case I may know or may look at the Wolf Directory and tell them their number.
One of the more special events for the use of numbers was at Dad’s funeral in December 2017. I believe Denise suggested each family member wear their number at the funeral. She and others wrote the family member number on a name tag at their time of arrival to the funeral service and ask them to stick the tag to their clothing. We had about 50 family members of all ages with name tags. Some were divorced spouses, some were little children, and all were happy to participate. It was a statement to Dad’s legacy of love and respect for people. No matter the past we were all family in that room at that time and gathered to honor Dad.
The Wolf Directory is available to download on the file download page. Go to The Family Room, click on the Download Directory button to download the directory in a Word or PDF format. On the last page of the directory is a chronological list of family members by number.